Summer is almost here and I’m excited. And I’m not excited. That’s how summer feels these days.
When I was a kid, summer meant no school and lots of fun at the pool. Now it’s just that time of year when it’s hotter than other times of the year. No longer do I get a state-mandated break from anything.
I was never an outdoorsy person. I’ve spent large portions of my life in front of TV’s, movie screens and books. Most of the summer activities I enjoy are not as much fun as they used to be. I like the beach, swimming and water parks but I seem to burn more easily than I used to and I don’t enjoy the crowds.
What I hate most about summer is how as it flies by and when I haven’t done anything worthwhile, I feel like I’m wasting something. Time perhaps but it’s more than that. I’m wasting sunshine and nice weather and dare I say it, life itself.
Summer makes me feel guilty for not doing more. It reminds me that I’m not in the shape I want to be in for all those summery outfits. It doesn’t hold the promise that it once did.
Summer is an invention, you know. Not the actual season we’ve called Summer. I’m talking about the concept: a time of fun, vacation and freedom. We made that up when we made up schooling and the 40-hour work week.
Just like the weekend, summer has not always been what it is now.
Funny how we get stuck on the way things are and don’t think about how they could be. I’m gonna cut myself some slack this year and allow myself to waste the entire summer, guilt-free. I’ve had around forty summers already. I think I may get a few more if all goes well. I’ll make the most of the next one.