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Hump Day

“Why do they call Wednesday Hump Day when most people get laid on the weekends?”

When I was in high school, I was in my computer science class one day (probably Wednesday) and this little bon mot popped out of my mouth right in front of the teacher.  I had recently heard it on a comedy special, and I was highly amused by it along with another one – If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles be shaped differently?

It pops up around the 5:00 mark.

I’ve always had a bit of a dark and twisted sense of humor, but I was never seen as anything other than the sweet nerd-type.  I must have exuded innocence because I totally got away with this joke and that same teacher even referenced it when she signed my yearbook.  She thought it was hysterical.

I also got away with calling Hitler a dickhead in my political science class.  The assignment was to find one word that would describe Hitler and that was the only word I thought could truly sum him up.  I also made the teacher laugh and got a decent grade that time too.

I got an A on an essay in college English that was all about “bullshitting” when writing.  And to top it off, I wrote it the night before and my typewriter ran out of ink, so half of the essay was handwritten (which furthered the point I was trying to make in the essay).

It took me many more years before I realized that it actually endeared me to people or they seemed to like me more when I was being candid and off-color.  Usually this side didn’t come out unless I was intoxicated.   I always felt a little nervous that people wouldn’t like me when I actually said the things I was thinking but if I say them without being mean about it, I can pretty much get away with anything.

The best part about getting older and caring so little about other people’s judgments is that now I can dance and be funny completely sober.  My liver is probably glad I got this lesson sooner rather than later.

honey badger

Fuck the French!


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