“Why do they call Wednesday Hump Day when most people get laid on the weekends?”
When I was in high school, I was in my computer science class one day (probably Wednesday) and this little bon mot popped out of my mouth right in front of the teacher. I had recently heard it on a comedy special, and I was highly amused by it along with another one – If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles be shaped differently?
It pops up around the 5:00 mark.
I’ve always had a bit of a dark and twisted sense of humor, but I was never seen as anything other than the sweet nerd-type. I must have exuded innocence because I totally got away with this joke and that same teacher even referenced it when she signed my yearbook. She thought it was hysterical.
I also got away with calling Hitler a dickhead in my political science class. The assignment was to find one word that would describe Hitler and that was the only word I thought could truly sum him up. I also made the teacher laugh and got a decent grade that time too.
I got an A on an essay in college English that was all about “bullshitting” when writing. And to top it off, I wrote it the night before and my typewriter ran out of ink, so half of the essay was handwritten (which furthered the point I was trying to make in the essay).
It took me many more years before I realized that it actually endeared me to people or they seemed to like me more when I was being candid and off-color. Usually this side didn’t come out unless I was intoxicated. I always felt a little nervous that people wouldn’t like me when I actually said the things I was thinking but if I say them without being mean about it, I can pretty much get away with anything.
The best part about getting older and caring so little about other people’s judgments is that now I can dance and be funny completely sober. My liver is probably glad I got this lesson sooner rather than later.
Fuck the French!