Checked Out

I keep meaning to write a blog but then I don’t.

Checking out has always been my best defense mechanism.  I’m fully aware of when I’m doing it now and I don’t make myself wrong about it.  It usually means I am overwhelmed or frustrated.

Some days, I just want to stay off of social media and the internet.  I see the world around me and I have no idea how to react to it anymore.  I feel so manipulated all the time that I have no real connection with the truth inside me.  Do I care about what I really care about or what I’m told I should care about?

It feels like everything is clamoring for my attention, for my agreement, for my participation.  And the more I am bombarded with, the more I want to completely turn away from it and check out.

I’m exhausted with a world where everything has become crucial and critical, urgent and extreme.  My daily experience is completely out of sync with what I see out there.  I don’t know how to feel about that.

I understand the impulse to go live in a cave or the top of a mountain.

I’m ready for my media fast.  A holiday weekend is good time to take a mental health break.  No social media, no news, no random internet browsing for a few days.

I’ve forgotten what that was like and I’d like to be reminded.