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Monthly Archives: March 2015

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

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crocheting

As I embark on learning a new skill set, I’m struck by how easily frustrated and thwarted I can get when it doesn’t come easily.  This year, it is my goal to become a proficient crocheter (is that even a word?).

I began learning to sew in middle school and have been able to hone that skill over time.  I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes and ruined lots of projects (zippers are still the bane of my existence), but it just seemed par for the course.  Now it sort of feels like I should be able to get this quicker.

One source of difficulty centers around the starter book I was given.  I don’t think its instructions are very clear.  I’ve had much better luck understanding things via YouTube videos.  I’m a very visual person and being able to picture something in my mind goes a long way towards being able to recreate it.

My biggest frustration at the moment is getting comfortable with holding the yarn and needle, keeping the whole processing moving along.  It still feels a little unnatural so I’m just trying to keep practicing the stitches over and over again before I move on to actually trying to create something specific.

I did get a bit overwhelmed when I looked through the book at all the different stitch types and other symbols for various techniques.  How the hell am I going to learn all of these?  It’s like another language.

I know practice makes perfect.  Something I have to keep reminding myself of as I slip up and start over again.  I’m not on a deadline and this is for my own benefit.  There’s no one demanding I learn to crochet except me.  It just feels like I should be getting it faster.

This is all I can do so far

This is all I can do so far

When I shared my frustration, someone quipped, “Oh maybe you’re afraid to fail.”  I thought about it for a second and came back with, “No, I’m afraid of never succeeding.”  Ay, there’s the rub.

Learn To Do You First, The Rest Will Come

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peace-serene-lake-view

Do your own thing and whoever shows up, shows up.  This is my personal version of “Follow your bliss…”  It’s your ride.  Make it a good one.  Took me a long time to learn that.

I have always tried to accommodate everyone, even for my birthdays.  When I say I’m going to be somewhere, I can almost always be counted on to do just that.  I pride myself on it.  But not everyone shares the same priorities in life.  What is important to you may be trivial to another.

One of the keys to happiness is learning to accept reality.  It’s pretty important in love and relationships too.  If I don’t accept my friends, my family, my significant other as they are, and for who they are, then it’s hard to be happy with them.  It just ends up as a fix them, or fix me scenario.

This doesn’t mean I have to like everything about someone or even tolerate the things I don’t.  I am free to end or modify those relationships as needed.  I get to set boundaries and expect others to respect them.  I get to say yes and no when I feel like saying yes and no.

I think it all comes down to the old adage, Know Thy Self.  I know who I am.  I know what I like and what I don’t like.  I know what I can tolerate and what I abhor.  I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses.  And in doing so, I’m also able to recognize these things in others.

One of the things I know is when I’ve done something that displeases another.  It was a talent I developed in childhood.  My mother had a bit of a mercurial temperament and I never wanted to be the source of any of her upsets.  But being a child, you just pissed off adults even when you weren’t trying.

So I became a very conflict adverse person, rarely being able to come at things head on and often sacrificing my wants and needs to keep others happy.  It’s probably why I enjoyed and even needed a good amount of time spent alone.  No one to satisfy but myself.

But I like people and I like shared experiences.  I don’t want to be alone all the time.  No matter where you go, there you are and my people pleasing habit was always close by.

After much introspection, I know that the way that I am is the way that I am.  It’s not a good or a bad thing, it’s just me.  And I like me.  I wish that everyone liked themselves.  Self-loathing is the source of so much misery in this world — for people and the people they inflict their misery upon.

If you do one thing this year to improve your life, I recommend you make it this.  Love yourself more and more each day.  Whole new worlds will open up for you that you never even knew were available.  Someone loves me more than I ever knew was possible.  All I have to do is let him.

We all have a light that burns brightly but it’s up to us to stoke the flame.